Asia Chinese History Comportamento Editor's Blog Eventos em Hong Kong HK People News

Cinderella & Snow White behavior

Written by Daniel Otero

A Chinese female’s ‘Cinderella notions’

By: Daniel Otero

With the lack of relationship cultivation throughout millions of Chinese during their teenage years.  Many don’t have a clue how a real relationship works into adulthood.

This problem is already manifesting in a population of young women between the ages of 28 to 32-years old.  Women who don’t have a clue how couples ought to behave towards each other.  Therefore, a good majority are childish and immature on their behaviors; creating a social problem of unrealistic expectations and unnecessary drama.

Call these the ‘Cinderella and Snow-White notions’, yes, where my prince in shinning armor will come and rescue me.  Carry me off into the sunset, into a life without problems or sacrifice.  This is not real at all!

For most females who don’t realize or are too desperate for relationships, you know the type: boyfriend, marriage and baby.  They really don’t understand that there’s a period of adaption a couple will face within the first-six months, at the beginning of the courtship.

This doesn’t change in any culture, whether we are in Asia or in a Western society.

There are periods of crisis in which a couple will have to face, males included. Arguments, quarrels and a period of adaptation will ensue.  This is the natural component to make a relationship stronger and to make it work.  When two people unite it isn’t happiness-ever after and it’s done!  Those skills have to honed between two people and these skills do take time.

The female with the ‘Cinderella or Snow-White notion’ thinks she’ll just have a simple life and not have to work things out.  This is the furthest from the truth.  At any given time, the female is always breaking-up because she can’t cope with the differences and then calls the relationship unsuitable; which is the further from the truth.  This female needs to understand, there is period when two people come together, conflicts will arise, then peace and love will continue to grow or develop.

The point is to talk things over with maturity and face adulthood not like a little-spoiled brat, but an adult.  Yes, an adult who deals in a mature relationship and thrives to better themselves through constant challenges; which is what nature throws at all of us!  Because they face these problems and evolve together as one.

But these females with fantasies are choosing to runaway and break-up with their boyfriends every week over things that in reality aren’t a big deal.  For example, heated discussions over small things.

The real reason why any couple should break-up is because of abuse, gambling addictions, alcoholism and disloyalty.  The other reason, if a couple is incompatible after a period of six months to two years.

But I often notice, couples who are compatible breaking-up over silly-petty circumstances–instead of facing things like adults.  You know, ‘throwing in the towel’ before the real relationship developed/progressed, etc.

In the majority of circumstances, it has to do with a couple into their late 20s and early 30s not facing life at their exact age, and behaving more like a 15-year old.  With this problem, millions of people will either end-up alone or face divorce over things which are trivial and can easily be solved through a good head on their shoulders.  The ingredients are: talk things through, counseling and couples therapy.

Whoever is listening out there, just grow-up and treat things according to your age. And ladies, remember, you can play princess when your six-years old.  However, stop playing it when your 30, it is unreal and doesn’t work!

About the author

Daniel Otero

A New Yorker who has been living in China for the past 10 years. He's a freelance writer/journalist and ESL (English as a Second Language) teacher.

A former member of the military with extensive travel to 50 countries and has lived in six.

Lover of life, good food, travel, writing and dealing with social issues.