Chinese mother’s, let boys be boys
By: Daniel Otero
When I was growing up, my mom had some distinctively set of values to raise me by.
Being a male child, it was important to instill that sense of confidence and identity when my father wasn’t around or because he was out working late most of the time.
One distinctive rule for my mother was, we didn’t sleep in the same bed after I was three-years-old. She knew the importance of transitioning from an infant to a child, and didn’t want to interrupt the independence which ought to occur between a mother and her boy.
She never asked me to make adult decisions for her, that she could make on her own or with my father.
The other was, she always made a selection on what she was going to wear before the day began. She never did ask me, unless, I wanted to become a direct participant and give her an opinion. In other words, she allowed me to naturally indulge in being a male child without interrupting that natural process which occurs during growth.
Here’s my criticism…
I began watching another season of Super Moms 3 and out of the four mothers dealing with their children. One was relatively normal. The other three relationships between mothers and their sons were absolutely creepy.
Noting, from the lack of boundaries between mother and child. To mothers overindulging on their sons’ every whim and sissy behaviors. To sharing common-intimate spaces from the bathroom to the bedroom. I’m sorry, here I’m critical!
Because what I noticed manifesting among these three-‘lonely’ mothers was grossing me out! It felt like sometimes, when these women interacted with their sons, it was more like they were ‘lovers’ or ‘boyfriend/girlfriend’ than mother and son. And I’m not talking about those tender moments of hugs or kisses between parent and child.
No, it was the time they spent together from the bedroom to the closet.
When a mother came and asked her little boy to choose an outfit which would look better on her.
I said, “Oh, no!”
Where’s the normalcy in all this?
While all these women overindulged and spoil their sons to death without any consequences to their actions!
Talk about a kid that will grow-up with tremendous issues and lack of independence. In other words, these boys [and hopefully not] will grow up to be useless-spoiled brats!
Reminds of one of my students, Samuel, nine-years old whom I was trying to teach how to cook and the mother was freaking out!
I told her, “Do you want him to respect women and hard work? This is one way to teach him!”
Let’s mention the complexity of Oedipus, a commonality often seen in single mothers or mothers whom are alone–while the father is out working!
Mothers, you have to stop placing your male babies on pedestals and in these situations. If not, all you’ll have is a broken man by the time he reaches adulthood. A mamma’s boy who cannot properly cope! Do you want this?
Therefore, to review. Mother and child should sleep in separate beds after a certain age, boundaries with intimate spaces in the household and allow the child to be a male. Later in life, whether that boy becomes gay or straight as a man; before all that, allow him to properly first be a little boy.