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Meg Ryan faking an orgasm, from the movie, “When Harry met Sally”

Written by Daniel Otero

Main reasons why women cant have orgasms


By: Daniel Otero



I have a strong belief system that education is the key to avoid the pitfalls of ignorance.


Therefore, ladies and gents, let’s talk about orgasms!


Speaking of orgasms from my perspective is a tough call.  The biggest and most logical reason is, I’m not a woman!


Coming from parents whom were part of the 1960s hippie generation, I was taught liberally about sex.  One main point I was taught, to understand others, I first had to take my time to comprehend myself.


In my quest to know the secret of the illusive orgasm, it gave me a better understanding of women.


For women, not having an orgasm doesn’t mean they’re lesser.  It means more ways to explore sexually with patience and slowly for that hidden answer.


So, to the point, why can’t women have orgasms?


One, sitting on one’s rump for too many hours affects the pelvic bone.  To avoid these problems, get up every three hours to walk around and stretch your body.  Touch your toes, bend your knees, stretch up high and move your hips.  This will help with blood circulation, especially around the pelvic and groin area.


Two, high heels are another factor affecting a woman’s orgasm.  The higher the heel to feel sexy, the more it stimulates the pelvic region, but it lessens the orgasmic experience during sex.


Three, taking medication like anti-depressants can cause literally a ‘biological block’ for any woman to climax in those intimate moments.


Four, sleep deprivation can send the libido tumbling to the bottom.  It causes a decline.  Therefore, try to get seven to eight-and-a-half hours of sleep a night.


Five, lack of exercise can be another factor.  It’s suggested by nutritionist to walk three to five times a week for a little over 30 minutes.  Yoga, pilates and running can stimulate the blood flow and increase the desire for sex.


Six, like sex, a woman needs a comfortable environment.  She needs to feel loved to make love!  Her safety net is important.  Therefore, set up a romantic-soft place for her without stress.  Arise the mind before doing it to the body.  Play soft music if and when desired.


Seven, and it’s a myth which most people believe in, that orgasms are only from penis to vagina contact.  Not true!  Actually, in truth, 70 to 75 percent of orgasms are around the clitoris.  The other 25% is from normal-sexual intercourse.  To increase better orgasms, it’s important to try cunnilingus or self-stimulation/masturbation.


In any case, women like men need to be understood.  Accept, tolerate and love our differences.


When getting into moments of intimacy, it’s also important to know a woman.


As a woman lays on her back ready for the missionary position, it’s a good idea to place a pillow under her buttocks to help her feel greater stimulation during love making.


A woman can feel deeper penetration when she’s on top.


Other ideas, doing it from behind or “doggy style”.


Raising of her legs during the missionary position can be quite enjoyable for her. However, be careful with going too deep, some women can feel pain.


When in doubt, please ask the person you’re with and be sensitive.


Not only through deeper penetration in the latter three positions.  Do it softly, moving those hips in a circle and grinding for a lustful, awesome moment.


Practice is the core of it all, and it makes for perfection in the art of love.


Just go at a speed suitable for you and your mate.


Gentleness, listening, communication and understanding are the keys to a greater sex life.


Last, don’t place too much pressure on the orgasm.  It’s more important the enjoyment and quality time.

About the author

Daniel Otero

A New Yorker who has been living in China for the past 10 years. He's a freelance writer/journalist and ESL (English as a Second Language) teacher.

A former member of the military with extensive travel to 50 countries and has lived in six.

Lover of life, good food, travel, writing and dealing with social issues.