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Anger Management…

Written by Daniel Otero

Anger Management and how to not feed into it

By: Daniel Otero

Inside of me there are two dogs.  One is mean and evil and the other is good and they fight each other all the time.  When asked which one wins I answer, the one I feed the most.” – Sitting Bull

Many people believe since I’m a writer that all these pearls of wisdom just swing out every time I have a problem.  The truth is, coming from a confrontational society, I have struggled with anger issues most of my life.

But to learn to control it, that’s the key.  There isn’t no ancient mystery, ‘love-potion number 9’, magic or hocus-pocus.  The truth is, the only way to grasp the demon of anger is to counter these issues with acts of kindness. That is the only way to keep a temper in check.  As societies prosper, we often lose our humanity in search for that monetary success and forget the common thing which makes us human.  What is it?  Well, it is no secret, but to be decent to one another.

In the land of Confucianism, Confucius taught it perfectly in the art of non-confrontation or non-violence.  In Kung Fu, it is to simply get out of the way!

Now with Chinese’ growth in quality of life and fighting for every centimeter of space, there are bound to be confrontations in everyday living.  It is time to take one step back before using any harsh words or hitting somebody.  Once a person hits another, they have already lost and there is no turning back to what becomes assault.  Because as of late, I have seen these problems escalate, Chinese getting more aggressive with their own.  It is time to take a breath!

Here some people should learn to stop their cars at the ‘zebra crossing’, not spit on the sidewalk.  Learn to say ‘please’, ‘thank you’ and ‘excuse me’ more.  Speak in a lower tone.  Collect the rubbish, place it in a bin and not push the other person in control for space.  These are just simple steps to become a better person.  To develop a kinder, gentler society.  To be honest, I didn’t learn this back in America; but by watching my friend Chen and how he behaves patiently and loving towards others–even when he’s angry!

We are the examples our children want us to see.  Therefore, be in our best behavior at all times.

Dale Carnegie said it perfectly, “Do you want to be happy?  Then, you fake it till you make it.  Learn to be happy by giving happiness to others.” Simple words that still resonate true almost a century later.  The book ‘The Secret’ was no secret, it basically stated the same thing 15-years before.

In the end, what Sitting Bull meant in terms was, ‘It is to feed more the dog which is good!’ End of lesson.

About the author

Daniel Otero

A New Yorker who has been living in China for the past 10 years. He's a freelance writer/journalist and ESL (English as a Second Language) teacher.

A former member of the military with extensive travel to 50 countries and has lived in six.

Lover of life, good food, travel, writing and dealing with social issues.