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What’s a real man?

Written by Daniel Otero

Whats a real man?: Ask a woman


By: Daniel Otero


In this series, we hope to explain and understand better what is to be a real man.  Believe it or not, the most enlighting answers came from females.  Therefore, there is wisdom in these words in hope to one day become better a man.

In today’s day and age, it isn’t easy to be a man.  And I really mean what I say!  Therefore, it isn’t an easy answer.


To be boisterous or speak out loud isn’t my ideal man, since bragging will only get you so far and then, once you have to prove your male worth–you’ll fall flat on your face!


In some societies, women want you to have details.  In others, it is confidence.  Some people prefer sensitive men, while others would like men to use more of the old fashioned machismo.


There are cultures which require you to stand-up for your woman and be a man or basically, ‘Man-up!’


But what is a real man?  Women out there think, he ought to have certain gentlemanly qualities to make him complete.


A whole man isn’t easy to define.


But what the world needs now is real men.


No, not those men in movies, who come out of the blue, save the day and rescues the young-lady in distress!  Nope, not at all!  Ninety-percent of movies are fictionalized and therefore don’t show what a real man is all about, and the day to day affairs which make us great or weak.


But what makes a real man in a woman’s life?  That’s the most important question for a male to ask himself, since he’ll probably spend 80% of his life with a woman if he gets married and doesn’t divorce.


First, what I heard from a good majority of young-ladies and women were the following, “He’s loving and caring with his friends.  He demonstrates kindness to his family and others!”


One female answered, “For me, what I notice in a man and the most important thing is how he treats his mother.  If he’s respectful and treats his mother well, that’s a keeper!”


Another young-lady focused on aspects of his personality, “Intelligent, confident, protective…  Possesses the qualities of a gentleman, I mean: respectful (can open a door for a lady), polite, table manners–that he isn’t a pig!” she laughs, “Etiquette, etc…”


A 20-something-female approached us, hearing the conversation, butted in and mentioned these virtues as the most important, “He has to be successful, hard-working or striving to make something of himself in life.” above this, she added as the most-most important thing, “He also has to be passionate, romantic, content with life and in the end, responsible.  That about sums it up for me!”


Therefore, next time you’re in doubt about what is to be a real man, listen to a woman!

About the author

Daniel Otero

A New Yorker who has been living in China for the past 10 years. He's a freelance writer/journalist and ESL (English as a Second Language) teacher.

A former member of the military with extensive travel to 50 countries and has lived in six.

Lover of life, good food, travel, writing and dealing with social issues.