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Dirty laundry is washed at home

Written by Daniel Otero

Keep your personal life in the closet

One of the most important lessons to learn when living in any society is, “Dirty laundry should never be washed in public!” This is a literal truth when it comes to scandals and gossip.  If people want to talk badly about you, let them!  I find if you answer to ignorant/stupid people, you make matters worse!  In reality, 90 percent of the times the truth finally comes out on its own; whether you’re a ‘small potato’ or public persona.


Never air your affairs for others to see or hear about.  In our selfie/selfish world, people often think, talking about a fiasco will make it better.  Not!


Sometimes men or women talk about their sex lives with their friends.  Bad habit and creates curiosity on behalf of your friend.  You might end up losing your mate to that person who wants or envies your life.  Be careful!


This is the way of the world, to adjust to certain norms established.  It has been this way since the beginning and it’ll always be this way; whether you live here or in another country.


Because as human beings we tend to act first on instincts, we instinctively want to hurt others who hurt us first!


Like Professor Paiezy once taught me in University, “Daniel, when you’re angry give yourself two to three days before acting out!  When you don’t think things through, mistakes are made.


With friends, family or people around us, in our overreaction, we want people to listen to us.  It’s basic human nature.


The advice is always simple, keep silent and calm. “After a storm eventually the sun will come out!”


When an actor decides to go public in a press conference or autobiography detailing ‘blow by blow’ their lives; the microscope of judgment is often too powerful.  And as in life, things can go fifty-fifty.  People can turn for or against any person in a heartbeat. Depending on the circumstances, it can be good or bad.


Just try your best to be objective!


You have an explosive need to speak, talk with your parents or grandparents.  People whom can usually keep their mouths’ tightly shut!  There are counselors, priests, monks, psychologist whom legally have a vow of silence.  Trust those and never the general public, media or acquaintances.  Because individuals have a tendency of blabbering-off to the others, whether by mistake or consciously!


Use the Asian system in most cases, “Silence is golden.”


For a public personality who has children, things can get even stickier.


Children get hurt when a couple is going through a divorce.


Again, keep your mouth shut and hire a lawyer or take your problems to the court system if this is your case.  But never downgrade the person who you’re divorcing to the public, friends or towards your children.  That’s hurtful for the kids in the long run and as they grow-up will be affected by others who tell them.


Private affairs are that, private!


A slander, divorce, problems at work, sex tapes or photos leaking out to the media; the first words out of your mouth should be, “No comment!”


That’s why civilized countries have a legal system.  When problems arise and differences are a part of it, take your personal business to the police or courts.


Taking matters into our own hands often worsens conflicts.  Things become complicated, spiral out of control and we’re made to look like fools!

About the author

Daniel Otero

A New Yorker who has been living in China for the past 10 years. He's a freelance writer/journalist and ESL (English as a Second Language) teacher.

A former member of the military with extensive travel to 50 countries and has lived in six.

Lover of life, good food, travel, writing and dealing with social issues.